After Bernd broke up with me in the beginning of December, I thought I wanna die. But I didn't. I survived the first Christmas and the first new years eve without him. It was really hard since the last three years I spent these days with Bernd only. It was such a special time for me. I guess I still do love him. I can't change my feelings so fast. But I start to accept that he doesn't love me anymore. Well, I don't have another chance, do I? I can't change it and nothing will come back. He is back in the states and it should be easier now. But it isn't. Well, everybody tells me that it will be better with time. I guess they are right, even if I can't believe it right now.
At new years eve, I figured that I can't wait until it is better. Hence I decided that it is time to change my life! I wanna travel around, I wanna meet all my friends, I wanna do something exciting, something special, something new ... I wanna have every day something I can appreciate. No waiting anymore, no postponements anymore ... just here and now ... Let's see how it works!